Category Archives for "Blog"

How to love your body

Growing up, I loved to sneak a peek at my older sisters' fashion mags, and by the time I was a teenager I was voraciously reading my own with friends at school. Every month taught me a new way to be pretty or lose weight or be more popular or stylish. 

The problem was, these instructions were built on a broken foundation. The paradigm was wrong - we were taught that our bodies were ornaments and the goal was to be "perfect", whatever that meant. 

Years later, some of the magazines caught onto a trend of teaching us to love our bodies. The way to do this was to accept that only 8 people in the world could look like supermodels, the rest of us must just "disguise our flaws" and "focus on our good points". Besides, we were told, it is okay to have curves because men like them! This created a double whammy of telling us we're only acceptable if men deem us to be, and divides us according to our build. 

Unfortunately this still works on a belief that our female bodies are wrong and broken, and we must just make the best of them that we can. Or worse, that approval of ourselves needs to be based on whether we have earned the approval of men.

But the problem is not our bodies. The problem is that we are conditioned from birth to think our bodies are ornaments to be made into an accepted standard of beauty, that other people - particularly men - have the right to judge us based on our appearance, and that we are fighting a losing battle trying to achieve a body type that we just weren't born with. It doesn't matter whether the magazines are telling us to "lose 3 dress sizes by lunchtime" or "men want you to be curvy" - we're still being dictated to for our self worth.

So how do we fix this conundrum? As Albert Einstein famously said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them".

It's clear then - we can't fix this by telling ourselves that despite being size 16 in a world that wants us to be a size 10, we at least have a pretty manicure! What we need is a whole new way of thinking about our bodies. We need a paradigm shift where this malignant messaging is shown for what it is, and where it no longer makes sense.

So work with the following paradigm shifts. They are uncomfortable. But when they really drop into place, a whole new sense of freedom exists where all this conditioning just doesn't apply. Here they are:

1. Your body is not an ornament.

When we view our body as an ornament, we believe our worth and value is tied up in how attractive we can make our body, according to cultural standards, men's judgements and other external messaging. For example, I used to have the belief that for my body to be acceptable it must be size 10, tanned, with shiny straight hair and aged from 16-25 years old. This is a broken paradigm because the vast majority of us will receive the unconscious belief that we were born into a body that isn't good enough. We may have some of the attributes we think we need, but always be aspiring for the ones we perceive as lacking, and therefore never truly satisfied. And even those who do fit the preferences of the culture they live in will probably face the same self doubts when they look in a mirror and realise their body is ageing. And so the diet industry, the anti-ageing industry, the fashion and beauty industries keep us hooked as we are told "You're not quite good enough, but don't worry, with our product you can be!". 

The new paradigm: Your body is a sacred vessel that contains YOU, your life, your spirit and your unique expression. In this paradigm EVERY body is perfect, because every body provides us a vessel within which to live. We laugh with our body. We pursue our dreams with our body. We hold our loved ones with our body. We gaze on beauty with our body. Our body is not an inanimate object to decorate into beauty, it is a vessel with life breathed into it, for our self expression in this life time whatever that may be. 

2. Your body is not the enemy.

Modern medicine has extended our life and given us new expectations of our bodies. We don't expect to be struck down "before our time", or to have our lives changed by our health in ways we didn't control. Even when we have colds, we often reach for a medicine to stop the symptoms, so we can "get on with it". But the gifts have brought a shadow with them.

We've begun to see the symptoms of illness as our body letting us down. When we have a headache, we feel attacked by our body. When we have a chesty cough and runny nose we feel frustrated by our body. We think our body is doing this to us. In truth, symptoms are mechanisms the body uses to correct an imbalance or fight an invasion. They are our body's attempt to save us.

That headache is the body trying to tell us our blood sugar isn't right, or that we need to drink some water or get some sleep. The runny nose may seem gross, but it's the mechanism our body has for removing a virus so that our body can heal. This is NOT a post about not using conventional medicines - there is a time and place for them and we must each make that decision for ourselves as adults.

However, when we operate from a paradigm of "illness is my body attacking me", we can see our body as the enemy, something we need to "control" or combat. And regardless of our state of physical health, being on a different team to our body is damaging on a deep level. I have been pretty healthy for most of my life, but I experienced this following a series of very traumatic miscarriages and infertility treatment. I was angry at my body and its shortcomings for some time.

Eventually, when I went into a deep meditation with the intention of forgiving my body for letting me down, I instead experienced this paradigm shift and realised it had never let me down at all. Sure, things had happened TO my body I didn't want, but my body had only ever done its best.

The new paradigm: Your body is always doing everything in its power to keep you alive and well. This is medical fact; the term for it is "homeostasis", a phenomenon in our body where almost every function and chemical reaction has signals that trigger our brain to let it know if that function is within a normal range or not. From there, the body will try to course correct. It may release different hormones, store excess energy out of the way as fat, make us thirsty so we drink, make us blow our nose or sneeze to remove a pathogen. Sometimes our bodies can get things back on track, sometimes they can't. But it will always, always try its best. So this means your body is on your team. It is your best friend - nothing on earth will fight for your wellness like your body. So wherever your state of health may be, approach it with your body as ally. Because you're in this together.

3. Your body is yours alone.

This last paradigm is possibly the most subtle and insidious. We are raised with mixed messages over who has rights or a say over our body. The #MeToo movement has certainly brought visibility to this issue. But confusion over who has a say can happen within longterm partnerships and marriages. Women often feel a sense of obligation to a partner, perceiving a context of what the partner "needs", which shifts the conversation to whether we are a good wife or partner by how much we look after the "needs" of our partner. If we reframe this to a more accurate word - such as "wants" or "preferences" the obligation is diffused and we can view the situation with more clarity.

Another place this happens is in the healthcare system. I have worked my whole career within this system, so I am not about to bite the hand that has fed me. I don't suggest that Dr Google knows more than an actual doctor, or that remedies with no research should be preferred over scientifically backed remedies in critical situations. However, we are taught to "obey" healthcare professionals without question. It's worth noting that as amazing as healthcare professionals can be, they are humans who sometimes make mistakes. Almost all treatments carry some risks and potential side effects. And the person who has to live with the results is you.

The paradigm shift: Your body is yours and yours alone. Reclaim your power and your body. Yes, be compassionate and allow your partner to be seen and heard and validated - but not at the expense of retaining the power of choice over your body. And accept that when you visit a doctor they bring expertise and experience to your situation and take that into consideration when you make your healthcare choices. But ask questions, and find healthcare professionals that you trust and feel respected by.

I'd like to hear from you - which of these paradigm shifts can impact the relationship you have with your body? Which do you already live by? Let me know in the comments.

Start with self compassion

Many of us as women are brought up to be compassionate towards others. By the time we are adults, this comes naturally to us.

Compassion for others is wonderful both in creating a kinder world and for our own happiness, but the cornerstone piece is missing - we need to begin with compassion towards ourselves.

Without self-compassion we can feel like we never give enough, we become vulnerable to the judgements of others and it is all too easy to crumble if we feel not good enough in our efforts. We dim our lights out of fear of our imperfections shining through.

When we stumble and fall, if we don't meet the expectations of others, if we realise we are flawed and human, it is our self-compassion that allows us to nurse our wounded parts, dust ourselves off and continue shining our light in this world.

So practice kindness towards yourself. When you have one of those moments - I am having one even as I write this - don't berate yourself. Consider how you'd respond to your dearest friend.

"Don't worry, you're human like everyone else. Learn and keep going. The world needs your light".

If you struggle with this, then begin here.

When we are all kind to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds and hearts, it becomes natural to be kind to others. It's not by "being better" we develop self worth, it's by being gentler in the midst of our own frailties and strengths.

Shine on, sister.

I'd like to hear from you - how will you be gentle with yourself today?

How to begin a mindfulness practice

It can be daunting to consider beginning a mindfulness practice. We are struck with images of people sitting diligently in lotus position, presumably completely at peace in themselves. It feels unreachable and perhaps even a tad boring.

This image is misleading though. Mindfulness is less about a specific activity and more about the state of mind we rest in as we go about our days. You see, if we sit for an hour in meditation and then return to a life where we work ourselves into a tizz, have a short fuse or dwell on the past then our mindfulness is not yet filtering into our lives. Meditation is still fantastic, but is a means to an end and not the end itself.

Rather, begin a mindfulness practice which flows throughout all the aspects of your life. This is where transformation happens. Here are my top ways to start:

  • 1
    Become more mindful of your thoughts. When you find yourself stressed or upset, check in with what you are thinking. Are you adding a layer of interpretation to the events? Are you being objective? Are you telling yourself a story that's upsetting you? Becoming more aware of our own mind and the stories it tells us is one of the most empowering things any of us can do. The other place to put your attention is whether your thoughts are focused on the past, present or future. When you notice your mind dreaming of the past or future, bring your attention gently back to the resent and what's in front of you now. If this is new, don't force yourself to change too fast, just allow awareness to be your first step. Learn to experience peaceful thinking here.
  • 2
    Practice mindfulness of your emotions. Just about every addictive or compulsive behaviour can be attributed to our cultural discomfort with allowing our more challenging emotions to pass through us. The clue is in the word "e-motion". When we allow the energy of the emotion to pass through us, teach us what we need to be aware of, and dissipate again, we are living according to our nature. When we don't allow the emotion it's energy, it won't have it's motion either and we become stuck, stagnant and numb as we refuse to feel something uncomfortable. To begin, simply take a few minutes alone. Place one hand over your heart and one on your belly and focus on steady breathing as you observe the emotion rising and eventually falling within you.
  • 3
    Be mindful in your body. As you lie in bed at night, when you are in the shower, during exercise or when doing a physical task, take your attention to what your body is doing, the physical sensations it has both on the skin and in the muscles and organs, its temperature and the energy it generates as it moves. Experience your body as it truly is - the vessel you experience life with. This is mindfulness of the body that isn't possible from the misguided viewpoint that the body is an ornament. Here's an extra resource for this.
  • 4
    Step back from your life and observe your environment and what it draws from you. Who are you when in the workplace? How do you feel and behave different around the different people in your life? How are you in your home? Note which of these feels like you and where you find your behaviour meeting the pull of the people and the environment and not your true self.
  • 5
    Lastly, become mindful of your habits. How do your daily routines marry up with the vision you have for your life? Do you dream of running a marathon as you sit on the couch crunching crisps? Or are you pounding the pavement in line with that dream? No judgement, just noticing. If you see this is an area of struggle, here's some free support.

I'd like to hear from you - which of these ways of practicing mindfulness calls to you? How will you implement a mindful moment into your day?

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I think I had a minimalist in me from the beginning. I remember even as a kid, wanting to stay home to sort my messy bedroom into order when my friends would be knocking on the door to play. I have a natural tendency towards disorganisation, and an equally natural one towards wanting to find simplicity, ease and essentialism amongst the chaos.

 In exploring ways to create meaning in my everyday life and live below my burnout threshold, I discovered that keeping life in all its aspects - possessions, time, relationships, pursuits, socialising, career etc - simple was pivotal. I stumbled across blogs through downloading Flipboard onto my iPad back when that was a cool and innovative concept, and one of the first topics to leap out at me was that of mimimalism. Leo Babauta, Joshua Becker and Courtney Carver were early inspiration, later The Minimalists joined the ranks as did Marie Kondo.

Language becomes important and powerful when we discuss embracing changes of lifestyle. At first the term minimalism was the only one I had for these ideas. And it's true that not all the minimalist blogs have the same benchmark exactly - some bloggers reduce their possessions to 100, their items of clothing to 33, their home to a tiny house etc. These stories captured my imagination. However, apart from the occasional fantasy of owning a tiny home (as my husband said, "Where will we put the wedding presents?"), what it boiled down to for me was keeping life simple, being minimalist in possessions while giving myself the freedom to go at my own pace, and creating space for what was essential for thriving in a meaningful life of my own creation.  I hold all these terms loosely, and allow the interpretation of what that means for my life to flow with the changes. I have no real desire to be minimalist in enjoying my baby for example -I rejoice in the adorable outfits, the snuggly blankets, the cute toys all as expressions of love and support and joy from others in welcoming our little girl. Gradually we will find our balance.

One thing is for sure - this journey needs inspiration and support. Enter The Minimalists' recent speaking tour and their book (affiliated)  Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life.

Their tour came at the perfect point in time, my sisters and I needed a night out together and what better way then to eat tapas and discuss what gives life meaning and creates ease? A favourite reminder from the evening was to focus on the why of what we do - if we are truly inspired by what something will do for our lives, the what and how will take care of themselves. This was balancing to my sometimes action-focused approach to simplicity. Questions and answers were poignant, baffling, funny (Australians laugh at everything) and reaffirming. Their classic quote reignited something within me, "Love people and use things, because the opposite never works".

Reading their work provided something more solid and tangible to accompany me along the actual journey. We are reminded to pursue meaning in our lives, and that aligning our short-term actions with our long-term values leads us to living purposefully.

My practical steps that I took from the book are:

1. Look within to discover what the "anchors" are in your life - the things keeping you stuck

2. After this honest audit, take action to remove these. Start with the easiest if you need to, but start.

3. Avoid "shoulds" which keep us powerless. The Minimalists recommend determining our "musts" for a meaningful life in the areas of health, relationships, passions, growth and contribution

4. Take small actions each day for these areas of life, to radically improve your life over time

The book then explores each of these in turn and a 21 day journey into beginning with minimalism in a style that is both simple and compelling. Occasionally I find their habit of referring to themselves in the third person and the presentation of themselves almost as a single entity as a bit grating, but really this is their creative choice and fades into insignificance compared with their grounded wisdom.

If the idea of living a more minimalist way of life instinctively calls to you as one of the paths out of stress and discontent then I highly recommend that you catch these guys on their next speaking event or have a read of their book.

And I'd love to discuss with you these juicy topics - what anchors do you need to let go of? What are your musts for a meaningful life? And what are you going to do about it?

How to switch to a natural personal care routine

eco skin care, natural skin care

natural skin care

In the early 2000s, natural products were just beginning to become readily available, and I was keen to adopt this lifestyle for the planet and my own health. In the process of experimenting with the early products, I had more than my share of rashes, breakouts and at the worst point my armpits managed to become red and scaly and yet still somehow sweaty. It was not an easy road! Luckily these days the products available are prolific in number and many of them work well. To make things even easier, I want to tell you everything I've learnt about making the switch.

To begin with, there's no need to throw out all your products and buy new ones. That can be overwhelming and expensive. Instead, it's much more manageable to experiment with one product at a time. This way there is no more financial outlay than you normally would spend on products, less wastage; and if it takes a while to find the right replacement product, you won't be battling with a bathroom cabinet full of items that don't work for you.

toxic personal care ingredients

Here are some of the key ingredients to avoid in your personal care:


Found in..

Reason to avoid

triclosan/ triclocarban

soaps (liquid/ bar)

disrupts thyroid and reproductive hormones

Vitamin A/ retinyl palmitate/ retinyl acetate/ retinoic acid/ retinol

skin care

increases sun sensitivity and when exposed to UV damages DNA of skin

SPF above 50


Only slightly improves sun protection but increases chemical load and leads to false sense of safety in sun

aerosol spray and powder sunscreens with nanoparticles, baby powder

spray and powder sunscreens

penetrate the lungs and enter bloodstream, inhaled baby powder hazardous to the lungs of babies



potential hormone disruptor

coal tar derivatives and lead

dark hair dyes

carcinogenic, neurotoxin

formaldehyde/ formalin and chemicals that convert to formaldehyde in the body such as bronopol, DMDM hydantoin, diazolidinyl urea, imidzaolidinyl urea, quaternium-15, methylene glycol

chemical hair straightener

carcinogen, respiratory irritant

toluene, benzene

nail polish remover, nail polish

potent neurotoxic, can impair fetal development, toxic to immune system

phthalates, plasticiser

nail polish, hair spray

may damage male reproductive system and should be avoided by pregnant women

fragrance - non-specific ingredient which could be anything

perfume, and perfumed creams or skin care products, makeup, hair products - almost anything

can disrupt hormones, allergenic



potential carcinogen, causes depigmentation, in animal studies produced liver damage, interferes with thyroid and reproductive system functions

boric acid & sodium borate

liquid cosmetics and as a preservative, thickener or emulsifier in many cosmetic products

hormone disruptors, may harm male reproductive system, long term use may affect kidneys

parabens , propyl-, isopropyl-butyl-isobutyl

preservative in cosmetics

may disrupt hormones

PEG/ cetearet/ polyethylene

base for creams, toothpaste

probable carcinogen, hormone disruption

alpha & beta hydroxy acids/ lactic acid/ glycolic acid

anti-ageing products and facial peels

increases UV skin damage

hydroquinone, mercury derivatives (calomel, mercurio, mercurio chloride)

skin lighteners

can cause permanent skin disease; mercury in overseas lighteners is a poison

petroleum extracts/ mineral oil

moisturisers, hair conditioners, lip balm

often contaminated with carcinogens, organ toxicity

How to make the switch in 6 steps

  • 1
    Place all your personal care items in front of you.
  • 2
    Throw out any that are over a year old or that you don't like
  • 3
    Look at any items that you need to replace or will need to replace soon
  • 4
    Select items that you don't currently have a favourite brand that you can't bear to part from
  • 5
    When choosing a natural option either ask your friends for recommendations, try the ones I use and love listed below  or check out the reviews at (affiliate) Nourished Life for the product you need.
  • 6
    Check the ingredients of new products and look up any ingredients you don't know at and stick to the lowest risk you can find (I aim for a rating of 1-3)

My go-to products (affiliated)

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    Liquid Soap: Dr Bronner's pure castile liquid soap in various natural scents. I usually cleanse my face with this or just water, but I'm experimenting with making my own cleanser from oats. Watch this space! EWG rating 1 (lowest risk)
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    Deodorant: Black Chicken Remedies deodorant paste or No Pong deodorant paste - I seriously can't pick a favourite, Black Chicken has a neutral scent whereas No Pong smells of lemon. If your skin is irritated by either it is most likely the bi-carb, so choose a bi-carb free option by No Pong.
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    Toothpaste: I used to use Jason Powersmile which is fresh and minty and great for a clean feeling and whitening, I most ecently bought Lavera but I have some concern that it contains Limonene which has some evidence of being hazardous so I will be switching to Grants mint and aloe vera toothpaste
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    Teeth whitener: Get ready to make a mess (comes naturally to me!) with the Warpaint Natural Teeth Whitener, which basically involves rubbing charcoal powder into your teeth. The shower is a good place for this activity! 
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    Mouthwash: I occasionally remember to oil pull (gargle with oil such as coconut oil) which is super cleansing to the mouth and provides nutrients for the teeth and gums and keeps breath sweet. I swear by it, but you don't need a fancy expensive product, just any good quality ​coconut oil
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    Sunscreen: I love when the product I like is a cheapie, as is the case with this Life Basics SPF 30 Sunscreen
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    Mascara: I love the gentle Ere Perez Almond Oil Mascara, it smudges easily when just applied but works beautifully.
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     Mineral foundation: I was using an Ere Perez one which lasted years but it's no longer available at my online shop so I'll be shopping around for this one
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    Facial moisturiser: When I'm not too lazy my favourite moisturiser by far is the one I make myself. You can find the recipe here.  If I can't be bothered then I look for facial oils that include jojoba and rosehip but not coconut oil, which tends to clog pores and cause breakouts.
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     Lipstick: I'm choosing a colour from the Luk Lip Nourish Tasting Plate. I wear so little lipstick this sample collection is probably all I need!
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    Hair dye: I use a hair dye based on henna. It's a bit of a hassle because it needs to be mixed a few hours before use and I'm kind of a spontaneous person, and it needs to be on my hair smelling like a cow pat for at least 3 hours. That being said it's natural and works pretty well, with good but not perfect grey coverage. The brand is Desert Shadow and there is a good selection of colours.
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    Shampoo and conditioner: My hair is like noone else's so we al have different needs, and I tend to vary my choices. I currently use 100% Pure shampoo and Acure conditioner.
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    Hair gel: I buy this locally, Miessence Hair Styling Gel which uses aloe vera gel as a base and doesn't dry out my hair
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     Menstrual products: I bought a social enterprise cup called Ruby Cup, but there are plenty pf good choices these days; I find these great as they last all day but sometimes aren't 100% so I combine with Modibodi underwear, also great for light days or overnight. For purer versions of the traditionals I use TOMs tampons and pads

Now I'd love to hear from you! I'm still learning all the products out there and as you can tell, while I have some products that are very effective and very pure, I'm a bit less committed to others. Please share any pure products you love in the comments below, so we can all benefit from each other.

The letter you were meant to receive

I have a beautiful journal, in which I write letters to my daughter Ava Grace. I've been doing this since I was pregnant with her. I tell her the story of her birth, my hopes for her, how we chose her name and of course how dear she is to us.

Recently I knew I must write her all the things I want to make sure she will always know, her whole life. As I wrote I realised they were things we all need to remember, so this specific letter is for you, too. In case someone forgot to tell you. Or if you stopped believing it. These words are written through me but not by me - they are words from your loved ones, from your truest self, from Life, to You. Please keep this letter where you can refer to it whenever you need to.


There are certain things in life it is so important that you know, and always remember. These things are few and simple, but essential. Here they are:

You are SO loved

You are deeply protected

You are divinely guided

You matter

You are seen

You are heard

You have unique gifts

The world needs you

You are here for a specific purpose

Your life matters

I love you.

Let me know below - -what will you be adding to your letter? 

And if you would like more heart healing, then sign up below for my free gift to you, 7 steps to self love. xo

11 Things I Learnt About Stress and Burnout

  1. It's possible to hide stress and burnout from yourself for a really long time. Be self aware and be honest with yourself. The price of suppressing how you truly are is way too high.
  2. Thriving on stress can flip to burnout in the blink of an eye. Even if you're thriving, implement massive self compassion and care to keep on the healthy side of the line.
  3. Stress is involved as a contributing or exacerbating factor in almost every health problem. It stands to reason that stress management needs to be part of every health solution.
  4. Stress and burnout are holistic conditions that impact on our mind, emotions and physiology. Learn to support all of these aspects of yourself when going through a stressful period in order to avoid burnout.
  5.  Sleep deprivation makes it that much harder to deal with stress or recover from burnout. Get some strategies for better sleep here.
  6. Self care becomes even more important, but can feel impossible to find time for in amongst the chaos. Start small and find a way here.
  7. Burnout occurs when stress continues for too long. We may not be able to control all the events in our life but we can manage our interpretation of them.
  8. Sometimes our early warning signs are indirect. We may not notice we are stressed but may note we are getting headaches, snapping at loved ones, using distractions (food, shopping, candy crush, Facebook....) or avoiding certain situations.
  9. Three foundational keys will always help with the stress in life - simplifying your life, being self-compassionate, and using nature to heal yourself through nutrition, natural health care and being in the presence of natural beauty.
  10. Burnout helps us see the essence of things, the parts of our lives that truly matter. We can then strip away the rest and learn to lead more fulfilling lives.
  11. Often, burnout can teach us about our choices that we don't even know we're making. Ask yourself: "Am I taking on other people's problems as my own?" and "Am I in this situation because of people-pleasing?" and "How are my habits serving or hindering me in this?" . The answers to these questions may give you some good hints as to how to recover. 

Now I'd like to hear from you. What strategies will you be implementing to avoid or recover from stress and burnout? Let me know in the comments! And if this post could help someone you know, share the love.

​For more on managing stress by dealing with dysfunctional thoughts, sign up below.

Surfing the Overwhelm

My childhood summers were carefree ones. I stayed with my best friend at her beach house, and we spent our days running barefoot to the beach, taping (yep, it was that long ago!) songs from the radio and learning to bodyboard.

It took some practice. The waves were big enough to dump us, leaving us disorientated and not knowing which way was up. We had to learn to anticipate the wave as it came, to know when to jump on, and to paddle hard enough to stay afloat.

Overwhelm can feel like this. It's certainly a powerful enough experience to completely disorientate us, to leave us gasping and not sure how we might get through to the other side. But like a wave, we can learn to ride it. I've been dumped by the waves of overwhelm before, and know that enough waves one after the other can lead to longer term stress, anxiety and burnout. Learning to ride overwhelm is pivotal to staying afloat in our lives.

First, we need to become better at seeing it coming. For me, it creeps in by stealth through coping strategies like escapist TV/ social media, craving junk foods or feeling tired at the thought of what I feel I need to do. I now know these are my warning signs, and use them as a cue to cut back on projects and expectations, prioritise sleep and keep life simple.

Next, we learn our limits. I used to say that I had only 2 states at work - boredom or overwhelm. I always wanted more projects, more working parties and more clients to stay engaged and excited. But it was the finest line between engagement and becoming stressed and counter-productive. Too many projects and this adrenaline-junkie approach to life is intertwined with stress. The answer is not boredom! It lies in engaging more deeply rather than more broadly. Instead of flitting over 100 projects, deeply connect to a handful. Be present and practice mindfulness to draw fulfilment from life, rather than the pursuit of shiny objects.

We practice ​managing the expectations of others. I used to assume that those in both my personal and professional life expected me to bend over backwards for them, the way I expected this from myself. So imagine my surprise after a period of grief and burnout, when I set new limits in all my key relationships and no one battered an eyelid. Try it for yourself, you'll be amazed how the world keeps turning as before.

And finally, I surgically removed the word "should" from my vernacular. True, it tends to grow back from time to time, but I just cut it out more vigorously than before. If you take nothing else, try at least this. A large part of overwhelm lies within our own thoughts. When we remove the "shoulds" from our thinking, we allow ourselves room to fall short, to breathe, to be gentle to ourselves.​

When we do these things, we see the wave becomes smaller and more manageable as it rolls towards us. We find strength to paddle, and may even enjoy the ride.​

If you'd like to reclaim your time and ​learn to surf the overwhelm, I have a great 3 day video program, completely free for you below. And I'd love to hear from you - which of these strategies will you be using to surf the overwhelm? Let me know below! xo

Why I loved my fat pregnancy feet

I've always been a girls' girl, more at home in the company of women. But over the years, as one by one my female friends became mothers while I battled with fertility demons, I felt like I stopped fitting in. I sat on the sidelines of more conversations than I can say; one particular recurring theme being "How having children has messed up my body".

​The conversation goes something like this, "my stomach has never been the same since pregnancy - I used to have abs!" followed by comments on boobs, stretch marks and scars. I find myself sitting in silence. It's not that I can't relate to bodily changes - but mine have been caused by miscarriages, surgeries, injecting increasingly heavy doses of hormones, and comfort eating when all of it failed. I too have forgotten what my stomach muscles looked like in my kickboxing days, but no one wants to hear the story of losing one's abs to lost pregnancies and IVF. It makes people uncomfortable and kills the camaraderie, so I kept quiet.

​In my outsider state, I envied the women whose bodily changes were rewarded so richly with children. At times I felt resentful... I paid the price but didn't get the reward, and yet I lost the right to voice my complaints also. I felt bitterly that my physical changes were markers of trauma and loss, and that I would gladly take the changes that resulted in a live baby.

And then... I got pregnant. Years later. Out of the blue. After working out the chances of me giving birth to a living child was less than 1/2 per cent. And I swore that every physical change of pregnancy would be valued as part of this gift. I even prayed for nausea and mood swings so I could feel confidence that I was actually pregnant.

I felt both terrified and grateful (and so tired!) for the duration of the pregnancy - never taking any particular outcome for granted. ​I noted my physical changes with a detached fascination, but the last thing I wanted to do was begrudge any of it. I was happy to sacrifice the body I knew on the altar of the fertility gods. It seemed like the smallest thing in the world.

Somehow though, in the last weeks of my pregnancy when pre-eclampsia and the accompanying football-shaped feet set in, I found myself ​forgetting my pact and wondering if my feet would fit into my shoes again, or if I'd have to start shopping at those special comfort shoe stores. I forgot that physical changes are calls for self compassion, not vanity or self judgment. I forgot that my pillowy feet were markers of my great fortune. I forgot that only months before I'd resented this very trait of oblivion to all those women who fight battles with their bodies without this precious reward.

​And this forgetfulness may have continued if it werent for a photo on social media. A friend had posted a collage of memories of an old classmate I'd lost touch with since school, and it hit me that the classmate had died. Flipping over to her social media page where she chronicled her illness, I saw one of her last photos - swollen feet with defiantly and courageously painted toenails. 

It was a punch to the heart. My memory lapse was gone. I remembered the old me who sat in self imposed exile as the mothers talked of the bodies they once had. I looked at this photo of swollen feet, the last photo before death. And I looked at mine, the small price paid for new life. My tears were of remorse and gratitude for the swollen feet I was dealt, and so much compassion​ for those so bravely born by my classmate. 

We all carry our bodies with the tattoos and memories and histories of our lives worn on them. Sometimes secretly and with shame; sometimes​ bared to the world; sometimes even held with pride and courage. And if I can only do one thing to honour my old classmate and her pedicured, swollen feet it will be this - wear the history of my body with courage and compassion, and encourage other women to do the same.

I'd love to hear from you - how have you learned to hold your body with more compassion? And if this is something you struggle with, ​you are warmly invited to the free Body Love Challenge. Every body deserves to be loved.

6 ways to think like a naturopath for increased vitality

It's so natural when we're sick to reach for the most convenient fix and get on with our lives as soon as possible. Who has time for sickness, right? It's not in our plans. It messes life up. But the quick fix is not always the long game fix. And sometimes there is no quick fix at all.

I wasn't brought up with naturopathy. There's nothing 'hippy' about my parents, except that they had me. In fact, I only discovered naturopathy as an adult, when a friend​ suggested I might find a new approach to my long term niggles. I'd like to say I immediately transformed my life. More truthfully, I gradually learnt from naturopaths over time to improve my lifestyle, and many of my health issues faded away. This is no miracle cure, and you will never hear me suggest avoiding medical intervention, but naturopathy helped me to build a foundation for health that meant my body was well able to deal with any minor issues that came along. 

The naturopathic approach helped me completely resolve what had been debilitating premenstrual pain and nausea, food intolerances that completely ruled my ability to digest​ - including a few weeks of vomiting on a daily basis, recover from grief and restore my resilience when stress and burnout took over. I experience less allergies and colds, no longer get tonsillitis (doctors were starting to talk about removing my tonsils) and look healthier.

So what is different about the naturopathic approach? While you of course must ​have an assessment by a naturopath for specific strategies for you, there is a way of thinking that can benefit you regardless of your health concerns. The first step is to view your health issue through the 6 layers of the therapeutic order.

1. ​Establish the conditions for health by identifying and removing factors that disturb your health, and creating a healthy lifestyle for yourself.

Truth time. What in your lifestyle continues to disturb your health? Is your job ridiculously stressful? Do you propel through your day on caffeine power? Consider not only what you eat and drink but also smoking, alcohol or drugs, exercise levels, stress, lack of sleep and anything that intuitively pops into your mind when you reflect on what could be disturbing your health. More generally, where could your lifestyle be healthier? Focus on crowding out unhelpful habits with amazing nutrition, gentle exercise, mindfulness or meditation and deep sleep.

2. Stimulate your body's ability to heal itself

​In naturopathy we call this "the healing power of nature". But it's less about the nature out there, and more about the very nature of our body. Our bodies are all designed to restore us to balance as best they can. Support your general self healing abilities by grounded coping strategies, spending time in nature, practicing yoga or swimming or other gentle exercise and pursue the joys of life to give you natural energy. And laugh!

3. Address weakened systems or organs

​We must never ignore what our body tells us, but we can support its ability to heal itself. For example, if you're prone to colds and respiratory infections - don't just medicate the symptoms, work to build up your immune system over time. If you have severe PMS, consider how to gently balance your hormones and stress levels. If being locked in cubicle nation keeps you stiff and sore, implement a stretching practice to keep your muscles comfortable rather than relying on pain killers. Whatever organ or system has been affected in your health history, learn ways to actively support that system through your nutrition and lifestyle.

4. Correct structural integrity​

​Some of our health issues may be contributed to or exacerbated by holding tension, spinal issues or old injuries. Pilates, yoga, physiotherapy, therapeutic massage, osteopathy or chiropractics may support your overall health. Surely you don't need convincing to have a massage!

5. Address pathologies using natural and/or pharmacologic substances

There's no doubt that the above remedies ​offer benefits to all of us, but there are times when illnesses need medicine. This is where this layer of the approach comes in. Engage with health professionals you trust. If you do choose to see a naturopath, be aware that in Australia and many other countries, there is no regulation of who can call themselves by this title, so don't be afraid to ask for qualifications and association memberships. And while each of us must make their own health choices, I encourage you to always have a great doctor in your corner, even if you use natural approaches as well. 

6. Suppress or surgically remove pathology

Where emergencies exist or no other approach will do the job, we may need to suppress or surgically remove an illness. Dangerous fevers, quickly multiplying pathogens, anything of a severe nature and​ growths and tumours may well need surgery or active suppression by your medical professionals. Be open to this where needed, and support your body by using the other layers of support as well.

So there you have it, the 6 steps of approaching your health from a naturopathic perspective. Surprised to see doctors and surgeons included? Don't be. Gone are the times when we had to choose one side of the fence or the other. Naturopathy is no longer viewed as an alternative to allopathic medicine, but rather its complement. ​I may be studying naturopathy but there are also times when surgery or allopathic medicine was the immediate answer for me (afterwards followed up by natural restorative practices). So regardless of your health, consider all the layers where you could heal. If one approach hasn't worked for you, try the others. And be kind to yourself.

I'd love to hear from you - which of these approaches have you not yet tried in your health? And what will you implement now? Let me know in the comments below.​

​For further reading about the therapeutic order, look here.