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Monthly Archives: June 2018

Get grounded

Energy practices can reach and heal us in ways that more logical approaches sometimes miss. This may be because the part of us that is vibration, needs to be met with vibration. Or it could be because a part of our mind lies beneath logic, beneath irrationality and is ultimately deeply symbolic and metaphorical in nature. This subconscious mind needs metaphor not logic. I believe all of this to be so. And in the case of grounding, the energy work helps us feel safer, grounded and stable in a stressful world.

Many of us who have underlying feelings of anxiety and lack of safety, experienced disruption in our childhood. We move houses and schools and feel we can't put down roots; or lose someone close and feel the world is not safe, or feel misplaced with our family and experience a disconnect from our tribe. 

So energetically, we need stability, steadfastness, strength... we need to put down roots. And this is why the metaphor of a tree is so grounding. Let these words wash over you as you imagine yourself sending roots deep into the core of Mother Earth

  • See yourself waist down as a tree sending forth roots deep into the very core of the earth. You have strength, stability and you have stood here across the ages, passing the tests of time. 
  • Your tree roots are able to draw what you need from our great Mother Earth. The water to quench your thirst and cleanse your spirit is drawn up. The nutrients that strengthen you and help you grow are available to you.
  • You are bathed in sunshine to fill you with joy, and oxygen to clear your thinking and lift you upwards.
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    Pure Mother love fills you from the core, is drawn up through every cell of your body and out to the skies. And love from the very Source, as you understand it, shines down, through every cell and down through your feet and via the root system into the very core of the earth
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    Everything you need fills you up, to the point where the love and light filling you can no longer be contained within you. It bursts forth radiantly in all directions from your being. It feels natural to give from this source. You no longer worry about running dry of love to give. You have tapped into a source beyond you, it fills you and flows through you to others. This source is always available to you.

When we are people who give so readily from the heart, we need a way to fill our well up again. Know that expecting our needs to be filled from others can lead to hurt, disappointment of unmatched expectations and misunderstanding. Learn to find a deeper Source, and meet others from a place of wholeness. 

And to bring groundedness into your life, think of where your foundations need to be built stronger. Where there is clutter, clear it. If something is broken, get it fixed. Sort finances. Being grounded sounds boring at this level... but dreams built on anything less are shaky at best.

I'd love to hear how you go with this very old energy healing visualisation. And please share - do you have a favourite grounding technique?

What to do when affirmations make you feel worse

There was a time a few years ago when I felt like I was ricocheting from one emotional stress to another. It was tie to dig into my arsenal of tools and apply them to myself. One of those tools was affirmations.

For those who missed the affirmations memos floating round the web, affirmations are positive statements we write or say to help us feel more positive, stay on track for our goals or even attract what we want.

I started with some big dreams. "I have paid off my mortgage" and "I am happy in every way", that kind of thing. 

Only thing was, I didn't feel inspired and motivated. I felt deflated. I didn't believe what I was affirming - in fact, they just highlighted the abyss between where my life was and the life I actually wanted.

And this is the problem. If we can't even begin to believe what we're affirming, how can it elevate our mood? If we don't believe our goal, how will we stay on track for it?

So here's when affirmations are a problem:

  • When the affirmation is such a stretch goal we feel overwhelmed instead of motivated
  • When we're in so much pain regarding the affirmation topic that it just presses on a wound and reminds us of what we don't have
  • When the affirmation is something we feel we "should" want, but deep down we don't
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    When our immediate response to the affirmation is to think of all the reasons why it isn't or can't be true
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    When for any reason, reflecting on the affirmation makes us feel uninspired, overwhelmed, depressed or even more stuck, or when our body or energy contracts in any way

How to get affirmations to work for you

You'd think I'm all "Bah, humbug" about affirmations then. But I'm not. I love them. I use them myself consistently. Since those efforts a few years ago, I studied lots of different styles for using affirmations and applied my mental health experience to understand how to use them in a way that eventually created the shifts I was looking for.

So here's what I did differently:

  • I used affirmations while moving my body. When I dragged my miserable butt walking, I listened to Erin Stutland's "Soul Stroll". I'm not an affiliate (although I totally would be!), I'm just incredibly grateful for the months when her affirmations drowned out the misery in my head. Check her out here, her Soul Stroll is available for free. Exercise creates positive effects on our mood which makes it easier to feel positive about our affirmations, the movement also provides an outlet for the negativity that may arise in response.
  • I addressed my negative responses. This is something I learnt decades ago listening to a talk by Michael Domeyko Rowland. The idea is to write down a positive affirmation, then immediately write any negative response that comes up. For example if I wrote "I am happy", my immediate response might be "I will never get what I want in life". The idea then was to address the negative beliefs that were really running the show. 
  • I chose affirmations that were large enough to inspire, but not so large that they overwhelmed me or highlighted the gap. And I choose topics that didn't feel out of reach. Russ Harris, who is a local expert on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), describes the gap between what we have and what we aspire to as a "reality slap". It really feels like a slap when reality is not showing you the life you wanted. When infertility seemed to be my fate, I realised that goals of children felt too painful to focus on, as they just highlighted what I didn't have. So instead I focused on gaols and affirmations about studying a natural medicine degree. This was something I believed I could do, so these affirmations inspired me and got me out of bed in the morning.
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    I used affirmations that made me feel happy, inspired, calm and grounded.

Those dark days seem like another lifetime now. The sting has gone from the memories. Affirmations weren't my only guide back to happiness, but they are a favourite. Have you tried affirmations? And how did you go? Let me know in the comments below.